This detail from 'Self-Portrait as St. Lucy,' shows a bound hummingbird; a mexican love charm, that is transformed into a bloody finger and the weapon for the symbolic self-inflicted wounds. Traditionally, the hummingbird fetish is used to bring luck in love. In Aztec mythology the hummingbird represented the reincarnated spirits of dead warriors. In Christian symbolism birds depict the winged soul.
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Understanding, Acceptance & Recovery)
Self-Inflicted Wounds .... A father's loving poem for the daughter he cherishes more than life.
Dearest child I helped bring you into the world
No more joy could I have known?
To wrap you up in blankets warm
And bring you to your home
And now I see the beautiful one
For whom I live this life
Take away some of this beauty
Upon her own skin with a knife
I can not understand it
I wanted you to feel free
In times of joy or sadness
To always come to me
And now I feel so lost
And at the same time losing you
Someone has to help us
How the hell do we see this through?
Dear mom and dad you have given a lot
But deep inside me you will never know
The pain and sorrow I feel for life
Maybe that is why I have withdrawn?
From your expectations and your rules
Oh, deep down I know you are right
But you must understand this pain
It is mine, mine alone, this is my life!
I really wish that I could tell you
Why I cut and watch myself bleed
But I do not really understand myself
Perhaps it is a need
To have some control over my own life?
See I knew you wouldn’t understand.
For I am just a struggling child
With a blade in a shaky hand
Dear little one how could we not see
The way that you have grown?
Ah, the music is just another phase
And sometimes we have to trust you on your own
Why the blackness drawn around you
Oh, I suppose that is the style
Maybe you’ll grow out of it?
We’ll just give it a little while.
But now I see the crimson stains
And the scars upon you skin
Why did we wait so long to act?
When did this all begin?
Surely we could have paid more attention
And showed you more reason that we
Could have disciplined with love and care
Waited to set you free?
Dear mom and dad you can help me now
Find a way to make me understand
If not from you maybe someone you know
Can lend a helping hand
I can not hold this all inside
No more will I let my feelin gs reel
Only to roll down in droplets of blood
As the only way to make me not feel
You see it is good to feel emotion
Why did you not show me more of that?
In caring and harboring me from pain
You’ve help place this monkey on my back
So don’t tell me it is too late
For I do not want to die
I want to live a life that is true
Feel me laugh and cry!
Feel me when I take in my arms
A warm blanket, a child to hold
Please help me now to see tomorrow
Seek a chance so I can grow old.
Links to Help, Understanding & Hopefully Recovery
Go Ask Alice
Stereotypes
Self-injury: a quick guide to the basics
Body Image Betray and Related Issues
Self Injury, You Are Not The Only One
**WARNING** This page could be triggering to the self-injurer
What is Self-Injury - Part I of a series
You Are Not The Only One
